All the weird shit!
Oct. 14th, 2022 07:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
renelfchildI'm Ren, but I also go by Wasp or Helianthos in various other parts of the internet. I'm 24 and I use it/its and xe/xem/xyr pronouns (or really any other set of neopronouns that's full of z's or x's - I know it's hard to remember which specific set someone uses, and I'm not picky.)
I'm not familiar with Dreamwidth - Tumblr was my primary social media as a kid, unfortunately - and I'm here because I have a lot of weird identity aspects that aren't suited to that platform. I want to talk about them openly, and probably other stuff as well.
I'm a Hellenic Polytheist as well as Elfkind, an animist, and a pop culture pagan. If you're unfamiliar with any of those things, Hellenic Polytheism is worship of the Greek Gods, being Elfkind is, well, identifying as an Elf, animism is the belief that material things and creatures other than humans have spirits, and pop culture paganism is kind of an umbrella term for spiritual and religious practices based on pop culture and fiction rather than established myths.
I have a hard time talking about my practice in either Helpol-specific places or PCP-specific places, because the two things are often seen as inherently contradictory - "fake" pop culture spirits and "real, serious" Greek Gods. Even among pop culture pagans, I sometimes run into the assumption that the Theoi (the Greek Gods) would see Themselves as "above" pop culture spirits, or refuse worship from someone who engages with pop culture spirits. Maybe someone else who feels like it's "too weird" or taboo to combine an established faith and pop culture paganism will find my writing here and feel affirmed, or like someone understands. That's my hope, anyway.
I'm primarily devoted to Hyakinthos and Apollon, although there are other Gods and spirits in my practice as well. My very oldest spirit companion is a strange canon-divergent version of the Phantom of the Opera. Obviously, I couldn't just get rid of that central relationship because other Polytheists were telling me it was heretical to work with pop culture spirits, so I didn't.
I've actually found that my Erik has beautiful and meaningful relationships with the established Gods that I worship - organic ones that formed completely without my influence, in contrast to the "fake vs real" dichotomy I was told I should see there. The same has been true for many other fictional spirits in my life.
My worship of fiction itself is older than my worship of the Theoi, and I have found the two things to be absolutely compatible. Not only that, but my nonhuman identity has been compatible as well, fitting in perfectly with various aspects of my worship. Being a Mirkwood Elf from Tolkien's works is the thing I talk about the most in alterhuman spaces, but it's not the only nonhuman identity I hold, nor is it the only one that I include in my religious practice.
Drawing a lot of influence from the Spartan cults of Hyakinthos and Apollon Karneios, as well as what little we know of Hyakinthos's pre-Dorian worship, my religion is focused on nature, death, and rebirth, with prominent fertility aspects. As one of my most prominent memories from Mirkwood is the maintenance of large compost pits in the ground, which served as community bonding spaces as well as a way to connect with the land we lived on, these aspects of my worship feel like a perfect fit.
I know that what I'm doing is strange and may seem controversial to some, but I feel like I need someplace to talk about my spiritual life in a truly holistic manner rather than sectioning it off into "slightly more mainstream freaky shit" and "REALLY freaky shit that even other neopagans and witches will find offputting". Plenty of the stuff I've written about Hyakinthos and Apollon elsewhere is already pretty out there, but sometimes it's hard even for people who can manage to accept those things to wrap their heads around pop culture paganism, or my fictionkind identity.
I've been writing about my relationship with Hyakinthos and Apollon at chainedbytruth.wordpress.com for a while, and about my Elfkind identity on renelfchild.wordpress.com for a much shorter time. Here, though, I'm going to post more candid journal entries that discuss the whole reality of my practice. There are some things I won't discuss in great detail, of course, as it's not all for public consumption, but by "whole reality" I mean "as one complete and consistent thing". I don't feel that I'm combining unrelated aspects when I engage with the Theoi as an Elf, or when Erik and Hyakinthos talk to me about the rituals they've been doing together.
Apollon is the God of Nature and Truth, and my religious practice is based primarily on those two things: Nature and Truth. I am Elvish by nature, and I would be ignoring the fundamental Truth of how I move through the world if I tried not to let my established Gods and my weird fiction-based stuff touch each other on the plate. Here, I'm going to write about the complete, cohesive, and delicious meal they've created together.
I don't think I have it all figured out, nor do I want anyone else to feel like they have to do things the way I'm doing them - but I need to let myself breathe a little, and I'm going to try and do that here.
I'm not familiar with Dreamwidth - Tumblr was my primary social media as a kid, unfortunately - and I'm here because I have a lot of weird identity aspects that aren't suited to that platform. I want to talk about them openly, and probably other stuff as well.
I'm a Hellenic Polytheist as well as Elfkind, an animist, and a pop culture pagan. If you're unfamiliar with any of those things, Hellenic Polytheism is worship of the Greek Gods, being Elfkind is, well, identifying as an Elf, animism is the belief that material things and creatures other than humans have spirits, and pop culture paganism is kind of an umbrella term for spiritual and religious practices based on pop culture and fiction rather than established myths.
I have a hard time talking about my practice in either Helpol-specific places or PCP-specific places, because the two things are often seen as inherently contradictory - "fake" pop culture spirits and "real, serious" Greek Gods. Even among pop culture pagans, I sometimes run into the assumption that the Theoi (the Greek Gods) would see Themselves as "above" pop culture spirits, or refuse worship from someone who engages with pop culture spirits. Maybe someone else who feels like it's "too weird" or taboo to combine an established faith and pop culture paganism will find my writing here and feel affirmed, or like someone understands. That's my hope, anyway.
I'm primarily devoted to Hyakinthos and Apollon, although there are other Gods and spirits in my practice as well. My very oldest spirit companion is a strange canon-divergent version of the Phantom of the Opera. Obviously, I couldn't just get rid of that central relationship because other Polytheists were telling me it was heretical to work with pop culture spirits, so I didn't.
I've actually found that my Erik has beautiful and meaningful relationships with the established Gods that I worship - organic ones that formed completely without my influence, in contrast to the "fake vs real" dichotomy I was told I should see there. The same has been true for many other fictional spirits in my life.
My worship of fiction itself is older than my worship of the Theoi, and I have found the two things to be absolutely compatible. Not only that, but my nonhuman identity has been compatible as well, fitting in perfectly with various aspects of my worship. Being a Mirkwood Elf from Tolkien's works is the thing I talk about the most in alterhuman spaces, but it's not the only nonhuman identity I hold, nor is it the only one that I include in my religious practice.
Drawing a lot of influence from the Spartan cults of Hyakinthos and Apollon Karneios, as well as what little we know of Hyakinthos's pre-Dorian worship, my religion is focused on nature, death, and rebirth, with prominent fertility aspects. As one of my most prominent memories from Mirkwood is the maintenance of large compost pits in the ground, which served as community bonding spaces as well as a way to connect with the land we lived on, these aspects of my worship feel like a perfect fit.
I know that what I'm doing is strange and may seem controversial to some, but I feel like I need someplace to talk about my spiritual life in a truly holistic manner rather than sectioning it off into "slightly more mainstream freaky shit" and "REALLY freaky shit that even other neopagans and witches will find offputting". Plenty of the stuff I've written about Hyakinthos and Apollon elsewhere is already pretty out there, but sometimes it's hard even for people who can manage to accept those things to wrap their heads around pop culture paganism, or my fictionkind identity.
I've been writing about my relationship with Hyakinthos and Apollon at chainedbytruth.wordpress.com for a while, and about my Elfkind identity on renelfchild.wordpress.com for a much shorter time. Here, though, I'm going to post more candid journal entries that discuss the whole reality of my practice. There are some things I won't discuss in great detail, of course, as it's not all for public consumption, but by "whole reality" I mean "as one complete and consistent thing". I don't feel that I'm combining unrelated aspects when I engage with the Theoi as an Elf, or when Erik and Hyakinthos talk to me about the rituals they've been doing together.
Apollon is the God of Nature and Truth, and my religious practice is based primarily on those two things: Nature and Truth. I am Elvish by nature, and I would be ignoring the fundamental Truth of how I move through the world if I tried not to let my established Gods and my weird fiction-based stuff touch each other on the plate. Here, I'm going to write about the complete, cohesive, and delicious meal they've created together.
I don't think I have it all figured out, nor do I want anyone else to feel like they have to do things the way I'm doing them - but I need to let myself breathe a little, and I'm going to try and do that here.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-06 03:59 pm (UTC)